Not much going on right now. Still waiting, but September is the estimated month that we should get a referral, so I’m praying hard!

We got our USCIS approval today, so that’s a big load off.

A few weeks after we sent in our form, I got a letter back from them saying our dossier was not complete and needed to be re-done. I was freakin’ out!! So stressed. I called our home study guy and told him what was going on, faxed him the letter and he mailed the revised copy the next day to us. Unfortunately, the mail seemed slower than normal and it took a week to get it. Then, of course, we had to make a copy for ourselves and send the original to USCIS and hope it was good enough. Finally, after 3 weeks of stressing out over it, we got the approval.

Now I will mail a copy to our adoption agency and then we continue to wait for our referral.

I emailed our agency today with a few questions, one of which was a possible time line.

She promptly wrote back (as she always does…love her!) and said the wait time is about 2 months! Then another couple months to the first travel dates and another 2 to the final/pick up date.

Of course, all this is approximate and subject to change…either sooner (if we’re lucky) or later (if there’s delays). It’s the end of July now; so her dates are September for referral, November for the first travel (when we meet her) and January for the second travel (to pick her up).

Exciting news

But for now, I’ve got back-to-school shopping and getting ready within the next few weeks, then soccer right after that for Gab & Pierce. And there’s always the church stuff to keep me busy. I’m definitely looking forward to the referral and meeting her, but I think when people look too far ahead, they rush or miss what’s going on now. And for now, I have a busy 2-year-old, a soon-to-be Kindergartner, and a 2nd-year-middle-schooler! I’m sure the time will fly by, as it always does when I blink.

Today, our dossier is on its way to D.C. & the Ethiopian Embassy!!

In 2 weeks, it should be in Ethiopia!!!

YAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

This basically means in 2 weeks, the official “wait” will begin. Wow…

I ordered another book, one recommended my our adoption agency. It’s Toddler Adoption: The Weaver’s Craft by Mary Hopkins-Best.

This one is a little more up-beat and half as thick as the first one. So I’m sure I’ll get through it faster. So far it’s very good, like the other. It has the same theme of how important it is to establish a connection and remember to allow the child to have their past instead of expecting them to “start fresh” which is a common error when people adopt. (that was a long sentence!)

All in all, it’s exciting to learn more.

Oh….a glitch in the previous paperwork…I about had a nervous breakdown! My agency emailed me last week and said 2 of the dossier papers needed to be redone.  *sigh* One is done and taken care of and hopefully I can pull my honey away from work long enough to get the other one done.  Soooo tired of paperwork….

I really do read books often. Daily. Just because they’re 10 pages long and 5 of those are pictures, doesn’t mean it’s not a book

But since there’s not much more we can do for the adoption right now, I decided to get a book with actual pages/chapters in it to read. It’s called Parenting the Internationally Adopted Child.

This book discusses the challenges that come with an IAC (internationally adopted child), such as dealing with their background (loss, grief & confusion) and ways to help the child cope and connect to their new family.

Some of the stories of the children are so scary and so, so sad. One was of a 2-year-old boy. He and his newborn baby brother went to live with their grandparents. Shortly after this, the grandmother died. The grandfather began to drink so heavily, he was incapable of parenting the boys. So this toddler fed and took care of himself and baby brother for about a year, until they were taken away. Can you imagine a 3-year-old taking care of a 1-year-old??? I look at Dean, who just turned 2 and it just seems impossible. But those survival skills kicked in for the boy and he did what he had to.

One of the biggest initial challenges we’re going to face is for the child to trust us and rely on us for care. It may sound simple enough, but when a child has learned to trust, and the caretaker was removed, time and again, the child just doesn’t know who’s going to be taken away and doesn’t emotionally settle in.

So, family/friends reading this….when the time comes, please don’t think we’re being snobbish when we don’t let you help with the child or encourage her to go to you. We’re just trying to build a connection, trying to let her know we’re the parents. Then it’ll go from there. AND, I encourage anyone who knows a family with an IAC to read the book.

So for awhile now we’ve been waiting on our home study to be complete.

Yesterday, we got the completed report back and we passed Yay!!

So we mailed off our I-600a, which is a petition to adopt an orphan. That goes to USCIS and takes from 5 weeks-3 months to be approved.

We also mailed our dossier to our adoption agency, where it will get authenticated, which will take 2-3 weeks.

Then, when that’s all done, it all goes to the Ethiopian government to be approved and then we wait for a referral of a child.

Basically, we’ve done all that we can and need to do and now it’s just a waiting game!

Sunday was the last of our home study visits. Now we just wait for the report papers so we can send them off to where they need to go.

The other thing was the yard sale…we got rained out the first weekend, but now I’m glad we did. We ended up with a couple friends (they get together every year and have a big one) at one house.  This sale was seriously huge! I forgot the exact number of tables, but I think it was in the 40′s range…yes, 40-something tables loaded with all kinds of stuff.

On day one (Friday), at 3pm, we got pounded with a very fast-moving storm. When we first heard thunder, we started tarping and moving the tables closer together. By the time we were done, we were soaked.  Dripping. And it was windy so we had to find rocks and paving stones to put on the tarps because they kept blowing away. It was crazy.

Day 2 started out cloudy and threatening, but turned out really nice. We closed up about 3pm, took down the tables, and took them back to church (where we borrowed them from). I got home at 5:30. LONG day.

But all in all, it was good. We made a couple hundred more than I thought we’d get. In a couple months I’m going to hold a smaller one at our house just to get rid of the last of our stuff and make just a little more. Every little bit is necessary.

So what’s next??

*the I-600a (with a few documents including the home study report) needs to go to the USCIS—there’s a 5-week to 3-month wait on that

*the dossier needs to be sent to our Agency (including the I-600a acceptance paper) to get authenticated

*the dossier will then be sent to Ethiopia

*if Ethiopia accepts us, we then wait for a referral….they will find a child for us and send us a picture

*after acceptance of referral (after we say “yes” to the child) they set a date for us to go out there…we visit the child and start the adoption paperwork….then we come home for a few weeks and one of us will go back to Ethiopia to pick her up and bring her home!

We’re at a lull in the adoption process for the moment. We’re waiting on our 2nd (and final) home study visit which will be in a couple weeks.

But life still goes on! My husband’s grandma died last week, so he’s going to Wisconsin for the funeral this week.

Next week Gab heads out to Utah for her cousin’s wedding.

And amidst those things, there’s band concerts, hair appointments, dr appointments, a few church get-togethers, parties for me to plan out (2 for church, 1 for the boys)…..sigh….

Unfortunately most of things are just on my mind and not to the point of being able to put into action. This is a frustrating thing for me. So I’m left feeling a little anxious….so much to do and I have to just sit and wait for the days to come!

Just a quick “thank you” for all the support we’ve been getting from friends & family, online & in person.

Paul and I feel very blessed that so many of you are willing to help with the yard sale, donating stuff, and words of encouragement!!

This is a very exciting, yet stressful, process and knowing we have so many people behind us makes this all the more special.

Lots of love! Thanks

Paul and I went to our home study office today and met with the social worker. He’s been in adoptions for 23 years (phD in social work I think it was) doing interviews, counseling, and placements. And he also has 2 adopted sons!

He said his job today was to “scare you so you run out the door.” He wanted to make sure we’re firm and ready to adopt internationally.  Luckily, at the end of the interview, he passed us and told us he wished he could place with us

He’ll be out to our house in a few weeks to talk to the kids and see what kind of an area we live in.  Then he’ll write up his report and, I’m guessing, by the end of May we’ll send our dossier in for authentication!

So it was a good day! Another step up the adoption ladder.