I ordered another book, one recommended my our adoption agency. It’s Toddler Adoption: The Weaver’s Craft by Mary Hopkins-Best.
This one is a little more up-beat and half as thick as the first one. So I’m sure I’ll get through it faster. So far it’s very good, like the other. It has the same theme of how important it is to establish a connection and remember to allow the child to have their past instead of expecting them to “start fresh” which is a common error when people adopt. (that was a long sentence!)
All in all, it’s exciting to learn more.
Oh….a glitch in the previous paperwork…I about had a nervous breakdown! My agency emailed me last week and said 2 of the dossier papers needed to be redone. *sigh* One is done and taken care of and hopefully I can pull my honey away from work long enough to get the other one done. Soooo tired of paperwork….
I really do read books often. Daily. Just because they’re 10 pages long and 5 of those are pictures, doesn’t mean it’s not a book 😉
But since there’s not much more we can do for the adoption right now, I decided to get a book with actual pages/chapters in it to read. It’s called Parenting the Internationally Adopted Child.
This book discusses the challenges that come with an IAC (internationally adopted child), such as dealing with their background (loss, grief & confusion) and ways to help the child cope and connect to their new family.
Some of the stories of the children are so scary and so, so sad. One was of a 2-year-old boy. He and his newborn baby brother went to live with their grandparents. Shortly after this, the grandmother died. The grandfather began to drink so heavily, he was incapable of parenting the boys. So this toddler fed and took care of himself and baby brother for about a year, until they were taken away. Can you imagine a 3-year-old taking care of a 1-year-old??? I look at Dean, who just turned 2 and it just seems impossible. But those survival skills kicked in for the boy and he did what he had to.
One of the biggest initial challenges we’re going to face is for the child to trust us and rely on us for care. It may sound simple enough, but when a child has learned to trust, and the caretaker was removed, time and again, the child just doesn’t know who’s going to be taken away and doesn’t emotionally settle in.
So, family/friends reading this….when the time comes, please don’t think we’re being snobbish when we don’t let you help with the child or encourage her to go to you. We’re just trying to build a connection, trying to let her know we’re the parents. Then it’ll go from there. AND, I encourage anyone who knows a family with an IAC to read the book.
I’ve been tagged with the Bookworm Meme by My Funny Dad, Harry. Here’s how this meme works:
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 56.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next two to five sentences.
5. Don’t dig for your favorite book, the cool book or the intellectual one. Pick the Closest.
6. Tag five people to do the same.
“This is her daughter!” Here’s the rest of the paragraph…”She has the right to know what we are doing, and she has the right to know it now!”
This is a book called The Alliance by Gerald N. Lund. It’s about the US after an enormous war where most of civilization has ended and a group called the Alliance plants computer chips in people’s brains to control their behavior.In the above paragraph, a doctor is arguing with another doctor about letting the main character’s mother know how the procedure is about to be done to her youngest daughter.
Ok, so here’s the next 5!
An Ordinary Mom
Dad to Two
Whatever Comes to my Mind
Mommy’s Little Corner
Life’s Sweet and Spices
My sil suggested awhile back starting a book club. Shortly after that, a friend of mine started one. Nice timing. She suggested a book called “The Memory Keeper’s Daughter.” My friend said she couldn’t put it down, it was so good. And I remembered it was going to be turned into a movie.
I read all the summaries on/in the book cover and discussed the book with my husband. It sounded rather depressing. That’s as far into the book as I got.
It’s about a doctor who’s wife goes into labor with twins. The son is born fine, with no problems. The daughter is born with Down’s. The husband tells his nurse/assistant to take the daughter to an institution. Then he tells his wife her daughter died. Then the book goes on to tell of the difficulties they have as a couple and the woman’s depression after “losing” her daughter. And the son grows up without much of his mom’s involvement.
How is this supposed to be good?? I don’t want to be depressed reading a book where a family is torn apart emotionally due to some stupid man’s stupid lie. My point to reading any book is to learn something (non-fiction) or to be uplifted or entertained (religion or mystery–Agatha Christie).
So what was I supposed to get out of this book? If anyone’s read it feel free to share.
Hopefully next month’s will be better.