Posts Tagged “Parenting”

Robin has an interesting post that made me decide to write this one. His point is right on.

My husband and I have always discussed getting a gun for the house. I grew up in Texas where everyone and their dog and the dog’s fleas have guns. Babies pack pistols in their diapers and toddlers shove a shotgun into their diaper bag. My dad had more than one.

My husband was in the US Army for 4 years and became very skilled in shooting a number of weapons, as I’m sure you can imagine.

But the thing that’s always held us back was hearing all the horror stories about kids shooting each other or themselves. The last thing we’ve ever wanted was to have that happen to our family…I can’t imagine ever “getting over” something like that.

In discussing this topic this past week with my husband, I asked, “Well, how do you keep a gun responsibly? What’s the key? I grew up knowing there were guns, but they weren’t ever out laying around and I never saw my dad playing with one. But I respected them and I stayed away as a kid.”

Dh pointed out that was the key, right there. To keep them put away, not to have them out and visible so a kid’s not temped to pick it up. Not to clean it around kids and only take it out when you go practice at the range or use it hunting. It’s all in the parenting…but there’s still horror stories. Like  the “one time” when the gun was left out.

So I don’t know…I’m not against guns at all, but if we were to have one, there would definitely be regulations on the thing. This has been a discussion for 7 years and may be one for the next 7 🙂

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I ran across a post on a blog recently about a parent that lets their 3 year old child watch horror movies. This person went on to describe how the child now won’t eat pumpkin because it’s afraid of them. I was shocked, so I left a quick comment about those movies not being appropriate for a 3 year old. I don’t expect the writer to approve my comment but I just hope they think about it.

In the world we live in today, where bad news is everywhere, I think it’s crucial that the home be a positive place of learning and of love. I disagree with the argument “Well, they’re gonna see it, so it’s best they see it with me there so I can teach them it’s (movies, violent games) not real.” People use the same argument with alcohol or drugs…”at least they’re in the house so I know they’re safe.” That doesn’t mean it’s ok!!

Toddlers have great imaginations, which makes it more important they watch only age-appropriate movies/cartoons. They don’t know scary, fiery pumpkins don’t fly around at night…if they see it, it’s real. And it’s likely under their bed or in the closet. It’s our job as parents to give our children a secure beginning so they grow up to be sensitive, secure adults. It’s not a good thing to be hardened to the news on tv where a mother killed her child. Or animals were severly abused.  Or screaming/yelling at family members (verbal abuse).

Sensitivity is not a bad thing! How else do we help/acknowledge those that need help? I saw a video on tv recently where a pedestrian was hit by a car…a full 30 seconds went by with no one stopping to help the man or see if he was ok. I’d want that time to be a lot faster if it was me or my husband or my kids.

I’m not saying a child watching horror movies is necessarily going to make them an insensitive, heartless adult. But it does start somewhere.

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When I was a teenager, I had a few of those, “When I have kids, I’ll never…” You know how that goes. Spank, make a kid sit at the table until they’re done with their dinner, make them do chores, say things like, “Because I’m the mom!”, and co-sleep.

Well, I’ve stuck by the dinner one at least.

I’ve blown the other ones.

Even after I had my oldest (my dd), I swore I wouldn’t co-sleep. I thought parents who did were crazy or lazy. Or just hippies.

Then my second child (the non-sleeper, Pierce) came along. It was a matter of days before I was cuddling that kid at night. He was different. He needed it to sleep, to be secure, whatever the reasons were, he just was different.  (BTW, we got him to stay in his bed 2 nights in a row now after his recent issue. How? We told him to….when it was bedtime, we explained he needed to stay in bed until “the big sunshine comes up in the morning.” It worked…go figure!)

With my youngest, I’ve not co-slept with him once. Like his big sis, he’s not the type that needs to. The most I’ve done was to let him fall asleep with me after a 5am or 6am feeding, until I felt it was time to get up. And that was when he was 6 wks old, at most.

So I’m wondering how many parents are for or against co-sleeping? And are you firm, no matter what?

Obviously, I’m in the middle. If a kids needs to, ok…if it’s not a real need, they stay in their own bed.

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So now in the political realm there’s a big stink about Sarah Palin running because she has kids.

Since when did the Democrats think women should stay at home all the time??  They’ve held a strong point of women being able to work and raise a family. It’s typically Repubs that have the conservative view of women staying home with kids.

One example they’re using is with her 17 year old daughter getting pregnant.  (I guess my mom would be a terrible mom, too, since I got pregnant at 18!) They say she can’t be an effective VP with all the troubles of motherhood.

Democrats are worried. They thought they had the edge with a woman running for president, and now it’s obvious that Hillary’s flopped. So they have to go sling some mud at the Republicans. It can’t be both ways, but somehow they (D) want it to be. Talk about flip-flop.  “We can do it, but you can’t!”

She IS married. There’s plenty of stay-at-home dads. I’m sure her husband would take a huge share. How could he not? He’s going to be under the spotlight as much as she is. People (I for one) are curious what he’ll be doing to support his wife and what he thinks about the whole thing.

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I was reading a great blog today that had a post that sounded so familiar!

I don’t know a mom who, at the beginning of the school year, vows to do it all. We want to be friends with all the other moms, we want to make sure the kids have everything they need before they need it, and we have to do this effortlessly (or at least, to make it seem that way to everyone around us). And, the more kids you have, the higher the stakes.

Eventually we get burnt out. We fry our brains. Sometimes there’s not much left to fry, but it happens anyway. Do you know how the moms that seem sane keep it together? They say no.  “I’m sorry, I won’t be able to make the meeting this week. Hopefully I’ll catch the next one!”

This sounds so simple, but so hard to do. We feel if we say no, we might be failing someone or something. We’re not living up to “society’s” expectations. (And you remember who “society” is…read “I am They.”) We also don’t want to fail ourselves. BUT, isn’t it better to set reasonable goals than to let ourselves fall? I definitely think so. Sanity is priceless! 🙂

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