Here’s a few VDay jokes for ya!!

• A smart, handsome and sexy young man dressed in the most sophisticated manner walked into the bar. He noticed a woman staring at him without blinking her eyes with an open mouth. Flattered, he approached the woman and said in his sexiest deep voice – “I’ll do anything you wish, beautiful lady, for just $20 but on one condition.” The woman was trapped in a moment and asked as if in a trance – “What’s your condition?” The young man replied, “Tell me your wish in just three words.” After a long pause, woman opened her purse, counted the money and handed it to the man along with her address. She then looked deeply into his eyes and whispered, “Clean my house.”

• After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.” And the husband replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice it.”

• If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

If I cut you off in traffic, I’m sorry.

If you waved at me and I didn’t see it, I’m sorry.

If I didn’t comment on your blog enough, I’m sorry.

If I didn’t reply to your comment here, I’m sorry.

If I gave you a dirty look while I was in a bad mood, I’m sorry.

If I got the last of an item in the grocery store, I’m sorry.

If I spoke to you in a short tone while I had a migraine, I’m sorry.

If I forgot your special day (anniversary, birthday) I’m sorry!

Now, please quit sticking pins in your voodoo “Signe doll” and ruining my holidays!! Your track record of 5 of 5 this year (and it’s only mid-February!) has been impeccable. I admit it…you won!

Was it really necessary to close down my favorite candy shop right before Valentine’s Day?

I don’t know where else to get chocolate-covered strawberries and fresh fudge and dark chocolate truffles for my husband now!!

So, again, if I offended you, I apologize and you can get rid of your pins and doll now.

Yeah, odd combination of words, I know. But it’s 2 topics. I couldn’t pick just one.

Our baby cut his first tooth yesterday! We were anxiously awaiting this milestone…he’s been a slow teether. The other bottom front one should arrive soon

Now for V-Day. I’m crossing my fingers for this one…every other occasion this year (dd’s bday, my bday, our anniversary) has been rough. I’m really hoping this one will go well…that no one will be sick, that we’re not crazy busy with other stuff, etc. I remember one year my dh had a dentist appt. I took a rose into the office early in the day and asked them to give it to him when he got there. He was really surprised by that one!

Here’s the top 10 gifts (about.com) for women:

1. roses
2. chocolate
3. heart necklace
4. lingerie
5. perfume
6. ipod
7. itunes gift cert
8. gemstone earrings
9. diamond heart jewelry
10. promise rings

Top gifts for guys:

1. ipod
2. watch
3. camcorder
4. universal remote
5. power tools
6. lcd tv
7. wallet
8. itunes gift cert