Ok, not really.
But have you ever been around someone who always talks bad about his/her spouse? It’s really awkward. And annoying. I always wonder, ok, why are you with this person if they’re so awful?? And why are you telling me??
We know someone, “Bob.” Bob dogs on his wife frequently. Paul recently heard another friend talking to Bob on the phone. That other person dogged on Bob’s wife and laughed! What Bob didn’t realize that when you dog on your spouse, you give other people permission to do the same. So why let other people say bad things about your spouse?
One of my sisters and I talk on occasion and typically, our husbands come into the conversation. We’ve come to the conclusion that men don’t always put dirty socks into the basket or put the new roll of tp back on. And I think joking about those general things is harmless. It crosses the line if I were to call her angrily or very frustrated and say, “Why can’t he just put his dirty socks away? He’s such a slob and I always have to do everything! He thinks I’m his maid!”
At that point, my sister would probably wonder if all wasn’t well in paradise. And after just a few of those calls, she would question the type of person he is or if I should get out. Usually a person is mad at their spouse when they call someone to complain. The outsider doesn’t witness the make-up. They just get a view of a bad relationship.
I think people complain about their spouse to others because they think it’s the popular or cool thing to do, as childish and jr-high-schoolish as it sounds. My husband knows quite a few of these people and it drives him crazy.
We made a vow when we first got married to never talk badly about the other person. If there was a problem, we’d seek counseling if we had to. But it has to stay between us, resolved by us, and always kept that way. We defend each other if necessary and are always a united front. When you allow others into the marriage, you inevitably allow a crack that becomes a fissure.
**Disclaimer….Paul did read this before it was posted…I wouldn’t want him to think I was doggin’ on his dirty socks 😛