Our second child, Pierce, is 3. He’s my high-maintenance one. From the time he was a week old, he wanted to be stuck back to me. I would go to bed and Paul (who always stays up later than me) would take the midnight feeding. For about 5-6 nights (at a week), baby would cry for 2-3 hours, no matter what we did. One night I just decided to take him to bed and cuddle him. That was the first night he didn’t cry…he actually slept 3-4 hours. The next night I took him to bed with me…no crying. We thought he stopped the problem, so I went the next night without him. He cried. We noticed the pattern. He was a momma’s boy. I had heard people say newborns know their parents, but as long as their needs are met, they’re fine with anyone. That is false.
So anyway, he was never a real good sleeper. He’ll do fine for a couple months, then spend a few weeks waking at night or going to bed really late. It’s just the way he is…my oldest and youngest are entirely different from him. And that’s fine…each has their own needs.
When Pierce was old enough to move from the crib (about 18 months), we put him directly in a regular twin bed. It’s low, so he could get in and out easily. To help him from falling out, we put up a side rail. About a week ago, I figured since it’s been getting cooler, and he’s getting bigger, I could take the rail off his bed and put a nice quilt on. I made a big deal out of it, saying how special it is, that it’s a big boy blanket, etc. And he was thrilled! He loved it. That night he got out of bed and cuddled with Daddy. (due to Daddy’s reflux, the dr suggested he sleep on the couch, propped up.) And the next night. And the next night. And, as I said, this started a week ago. After a few nights of my husband not sleeping well because he had a fidgety 3 year old laying on him, I told him to just bring him to my bed. Once the kid’s asleep, he’s pretty solid and it doesn’t bother me.
Two nights ago, he slept on the stairs. Right on the landing, next to the dog. He was found in the morning. Paul said he wondered why the dog kept walking around all night…he couldn’t sleep with the boy next to him!
Last night, Pierce decided to skip the middle man…he went right to my bed, on my pillow. *Sigh*
And yes, we’ve tried putting him back in his own bed. Each time, he wakes up 15 or 20 minutes later, and goes back to one of us. I’m sure if we did this often enough he’d give up and stay in bed. But it’s not a big enough battle that we’d want to fight in the middle of the night. (if you are going to fight a battle, pick them wisely because you have to win…don’t ever lose) We know he’s not going to be 16 crawling in bed with us. Everything’s a phase.
I know I’m rambling on…I just wonder how long this is gonna last!
I remember going through this with my 14 year old girl. I thought it would never end but then I had to realize, as you have, that it was a phase and now I can’t wake her up to go to school. The kid can sleep through her alarm clock for ever. It’s crazy. Anyway, you all sleep where ever as long as you get your sleep, that’s really what matters, continue to put him in his bed so that he gets used to the routine, eventually he will stop joining you in bed and then you’ll wake up wondering what’s going on. They are little for such a short time.
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I wish I could empathize with you, but my 3 year old puts himself to bed… in his own bed! Of course I tuck him in, but going to bed is never an issue. As an infant he was VERY fussy, I didn’t know it was possible for any child to cry THAT much. He was attached to me, in a Baby Bjorn until he no longer fit in it. Perhaps he is making up for that now. 🙂
Have you tried laying down with him in his bed until he falls asleep? That’s the only thing that worked with my oldest child.
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Although my daughter slept through the night when she was a month old (sorry), she was and still is a high-needs child. Every waking moment she had to be either on me or right next to me. She hated the floor, her crib, playpen or anywhere that was not next to me. To this day at age 13 if we sit next to each other, she has to be touching me. We attribute this to being born c section a month earlier than the due date. She just wasn’t ready to come out 🙂
She’s very mature though and she tells me she loves me all day long. So I wouldn’t change anything.
It will get better.
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Terie: ITA!! It really goes by too soon.
Mrs. X: Oh, yeah…he loves it. So much he crawls into bed w/us again! He’s a little stinker 🙂
kden: My 4 month old slept through at 5 weeks…I’m so glad he didn’t take after his brother! I don’t think I could have handled another non-sleeper. It’s great your dd is so close! It seems so rare now.
Oh good luck with that one. I have issues each night with both my cats wanting the prime spot on top my chest or neck. I usually wake with cramped feet because they had laid across my feet during the night…all night.
The dog doesn’t get a shot at that, instead we just see ears and eyeballs peering over the tops of our feet…
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My younger daughter is like that too. You just need to keep trying until you find something that works. We had her in the room with my older daughter for a few months until she rebelled. Now, the little one sleeps with the dog. Every night, my husband tucks her and the dog into bed. If he stays the night, she stays the night, if he leaves, she ends up in our room.
We went through that with my stepson, and unfortunately, he still doesn’t sleep. However, now he understands that he needs to stay in his room, so he hangs out in there until he falls asleep. Just keep trying!
thanks for the comment! sorry about the sleeping troubles :-/ my 2nd is not a great sleeper… sure can make things rough!
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Oh, even though I do not have a kid, but I remember making the life of my parents also difficult for them. I would not sleep without them on my side, even when I was already at school. I do not want to scare you that it will take Pierce that long, hopefully not. What my parents did, one of them would put me to sleep, then, transferred me in my room and hoped I would not wake up til the morning 🙂 . Until eventually, I also accepted the fact that would have to be in my own room, I believe I slept in my own room by myself way before I reached 16 🙂 even before half of 16 🙂
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We experienced the same with two of our children. We still call ourselves gypsies because we have crazy sleeping patterns. We just didn’t worry about it. I don’t think it has had a negative effect on us or our kids. We still, every so often, all pile into one bed (barely) and always get to laughing and talking. Those are priceless moments. Oh- and the dog and cat always join in!
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