What Do You Think?

Ok, I’m going to post a topic I find interesting. But I want to say now, that immature and personally attacking comments will not be tolerated. This is meant to be an intelligent discussion, and if you can’t play like an adult, don’t try.

I recently watched a show that talked about gender identity disorder. This is when a person, child in this case, feels like their mind and body don’t match.

A little boy, at 3 years old, told his parents he wanted to be a girl. He leaned towards Barbies, girl clothes, and ballet. His parents tried to steer him toward boyish stuff, like trucks and baseball, but it didn’t seem to work. When he was about 6, his mom let him have his way. He began dressing like a girl, grew out his hair, and went to dance class. And she began referring to him as a “she.” At 8 yrs old, this boy now lives entirely as a girl.

Another woman came on the show and her son went through the same thing. Now, at 16, he no longer had the desire to be a girl and went back to being a “straight guy.”

Statistics show only 20% of children that feel they’re of the opposite sex actually grow up to dress/live as that sex. So there’s only a 20% chance that the little boy will continue to live as a woman as an adult.

The parents of the boy and the boy himself said, “God made a mistake…I’m a girl in my head and a boy on the outside.”

Personally, I don’t think God makes mistakes. But I do think it’s possible for small children to get either confused or have the desire to go outside their gender, whether to explore or just as an interest. My son plays Polly Pocket occasionally with his sister. He also wears her pink slippers sometimes. But he knows he’s a boy and she’s a girl, and by nature AND nurture, his role in life is that of a boy.

There are gender roles and they’re not bad…women are made to be sensitive and nurturing (in general). Men are made to be strong and rough-and-tumble (in general).  I know many men who aren’t afraid to shed a tear, and I know women who would rather be on a 4-wheeler than baking. But they know who they are.

Children learn…by nature, they’re directed a certain way, but it’s up to the parents to guide them and be role models. Why else would the 20% statistic be so low??

What’s your take?

11 comments to What Do You Think?

  • If you do some research, you will see that there are a small percentage of people who actually do fit the gender identity crisis. When a fetus is developing in the womb, we have both female and male genitalia, at some point and I forget the exact time the body either develops to a male or female depending on the chromosomes present. Some people actually keep both, and the organs are either undeveloped or hidden in the body. It was actually not uncommon in older days for a child to be born with both, and doctors talked families into choosing which sex they wanted the child to be usually a boy, because it was easier to make male genitalia than female on the outside. I honestly feel terribly sorry for these people. They live a horribly tortured life made worse, by a society unwilling to accept or understand them. I do not think God made a mistake, it is just a part of the natural growing process in the womb. Maybe if we could be more educated, as a society, and learn to be just a little more tolerant rather than judgemental, they could live a life without torture. Is that not what God teaches?

    melissas last blog post..Montana Sapphires The Native American Sapphires

  • Absolutely, on both counts…it does happen (they’re hermaphrodites) and we do not need to be judgmental. It would be a very scary decision to have to make as a parent. And there are scientists that say that sometimes during fetal development, the brain and body don’t develop the same way, as far as gender goes. This is hotly debated, by both scientists and regular society.

  • People are born with tails sometimes too…

    I think Melissa hit the nail on the head, and how could god make a mistake? This is part of life and in my opinion can show us to be respectful to those that are different. If you think about it, we all could have met someone with this issue and have never known it. Even if we know it, would you treat them any different that being ‘just another human’? Probably not (I hope).

    One of life’s little mysteries. Perhaps we’ll never really know, and maybe we are not supposed to. Could just be God’s way of teaching a lesson while kicking out another soul to live here and go through processing.

    Wayne Johns last blog post..Sprucing things up a bit

  • Hey, I stopped by because Dad To Two gave you an award. Very interesting post you have there. I’d be interested in how you explain God’s intentions of letting someone be born with the genitalia of both sexes? Perhaps if you took God out of the equation, it be easier to understand. After all, we all know nature makes mistakes from time to time.

    Prestons last blog post..Obama Wins and Americans Win…Well Some Americans Win Less

  • Answers unknown. I don’t think we’ll ever be able to explain why people are born with both sexes. Probably the same reason as people are born with an extra finger or missing a limb, whatever that may be. As far as taking God out of it, that’s what scientists are for. 😛

  • I caught a documentary the other day about the boy whose doctors botched his circumcision, and the parents ended up agreeing to raise him as a girl, as part of pioneer research into nature vs nature gender identity assignment. The doctor claimed it was a success, while Brian-turned-Brenda-turned-David broke anonymity to come forward to refute the claims. This provides some food for thought to your question, but from a different perspective: a boy who was raised a girl felt that something was wrong, and felt such relief finding out that she was actually a he. (But all that really messed him/her/him up mentally, he committed suicide at age 38). In this particular case, nature certainly triumphed over nurture.

    When I was younger, I suffered from what I call “gender envy” – I wanted to be a boy because it seemed that boys had more fun, got to do more things, and had different expectations of them. So I acted like a boy, and loved it when I was scolded for being a tomboy, or if I was mistaken for a boy, but I never felt I was a boy inside a girl’s body. I wonder how many of the “gender confusion” cases are “gender envy” taken to extremes. Not that I am dismissing any of these cases… I’m certainly no expert, and even the experts have their own agendas…

    *lynne*s last blog post..a rambling review of The Legend of the Seeker

  • I’ve heard about this guy…he’s actually used as a point in some of the arguments.
    The gender envy does pose a good question…I wonder, as well, how many cases are like that that get taken farther.

  • What an interesting post and comment thread. I have wondered many of these same questions and reading these comments has been enlightening.

    An Ordinary Moms last blog post..A Palace, Not A Cottage

  • I see you all have already addressed hermaphrodites. That was where I was going with it. Since some people are born with both genitalia, I absolutely believe boys could legitimately feel trapped in their bodies and the same for girls. I think we’re all born with something to overcome. Some people may have to deal with gender identity. Parents can help shape and mold for better or worse…and some things we just have to do or make choices for ourselves when we are adults.

    Davidas last blog post..Has This Economy Affected Your Retirement Plans?

  • I saw that same show that you are referring to. While I was happy to see that the parents took an active role in helping their child (in both cases) I think the first case was a bit much.

    My two year old boy loves playing with cars and typical boy stuff. Yet you can also find him playing with ‘house’ type things. I think when kids are that young, they don’t really know what is going on.

    I’m not sure where I sit on the whole subject and I don’t know what I’d if my son came to me and said the same things as these kids. But it was an interesting show topic.

    Jeneras last blog post..Holiday Giveaway (Sticky Post)

  • Very interesting topic. With regard to “gender roles” there are many children who don’t fit the obvious pattern. The daughter of a friend of mine, while growing up, was labelled a “tom boy” because she was involved in playing boys’ games. She loved hockey and in those days there weren’t girl hockey teams.

    One of my cousins (male) used to play with dolls. He’s happily married with 3 kids of his own and to this day has one of the largest doll collections around since he now collects them!

    And, as a final note, look at all the products being offered for men these days. Years ago this would have been seen as “effeminate.” Men are becoming more tuned to their feminine nature, which they say is in all of us.

    Robins last blog post..Who is to Blame?