Over at Glue 4 Families, there was a good post on marrital conflict. It’s funny she put it up because this topic came up at our November Girl’s Night last night.
We were playing a game where everyone is given a card with a different beginning of a sentence. Then each finishes the sentence and everyone else guesses if it’s true or false. It was a lot of fun. Anyway, mine was “I really can’t stand to be nagged about…” I said, “…doing laundry.” Everyone guessed true. It was not. I lied 😀
I said, “He knows better than to nag me about stuff!” and grinned. The example I gave was this week when my honey came to me and said, “I don’t have any more clean underwear.” (sorry honey!!!) I did laundry that day. And that’s as far as it ever goes between either of us. We have a respect and understanding that each has a job to do and does it. And if it’s bad enough that one of us needs to be reminded, it’s understood that the person really needs to have something done. If dh has something that he needs to do and he’s not, all it takes is for me to bring it up and he does it.
Anyway, someone asked me if we fight. I honestly said, “Not anymore. We did the first year, a few times the second year, and once the third year, and there’s been nothing since.” (We’ll be married 7 yrs in February.) We’ve learned how to discuss (just a regular conversation) without arguing, and if on rare occasion we do argue, we do it without yelling or raising voices or hurting the other person. We state our side and try to resolve the issue. And usually it’s pretty quickly, never more than an hour and we move on.
So my question today is…do you fight or do you discuss?