Glue4Families has a great post about spoiling kids. And I thought of a lot of things to say, so I figured I ought to just post it all instead of dragging her blog down 😉
My kids are definitely spoiled. They have so much stuff it’s crazy; more than what they need. Our son regularly gets new little cars, just because he likes them and we want them for him. Lately I’ve been bribing him to obey when we go to Wal Mart to do the shopping. If he obeys, he gets one. If not, sorry, little guy…maybe next time. My 3 yr old knows this very clearly.
One thing I did to teach my kids appreciation and not to always expect toys or treats, was to regularly play with them in the store. I know it sounds crazy, but it worked. They could see the toys, etc., then we would say bye to the toys and move on. They learned throwing fits wasn’t going to get them what they wanted, and by doing so would have the opposite effect…no toy for fits. If they wanted a toy, it’s best to behave. Then, when they did get what they wanted, they appreciated it all the more. It’s just the way it’s always been in our house and they accept it. They grow out of the fit phase.
A few months ago we saw a girl about my dd’s age (10) throwing a tantrum about opening a bag of cookies in the store. “But I want them NOW!” She knew eventually it would work, she’d get the cookie. Otherwise, at 10 years old, she would have grown out of the fits that she threw as a normal toddler.
And as for babies…I don’t mind spoiling my babies. For 2 reasons…1) they grow up quickly, and 2) I’m the one who deals with any issue that might come up with spoiling them. I carry the little one around everywhere, I hold him during some naps, and he sleeps within arm’s reach of me at night (my arm’s reach, not his).
I just think common sense and observation are key. If the kid’s acting like a whiney brat, you scale back and use discipline. If they are appreciative and can hear “no” without screaming like a banshee, they’re ok.
An old lady (84) came for a visit and I showed her around the house. She said: ‘They have so much stuff!’
Indeed, when this lady was younger all she had in her bedroom was a bed, a chair and a little desk. And maybe some books.
It made me stop and think, and has helped me throw a lot of toys and stuff out. So far the children haven’t even missed it yet!
Relimoms last blog post..Just call me Sinterklaas
I completely am agree with you. My eldest daughter learned that throwing tantrum won’t get her anything.
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Thanks for continuing this discussion on your blog. I’m always flattered when something I’ve posted sparks further thoughts and comments.
I think if it’s good to shower your children with all the love and affection imaginable and then some more, without letting them do anything that’s harmful to themselves or others.
Davida
Davidas last blog post..Do You Have Any Thanksgiving Family Traditions?
My 13 y/o daughter and I were just talking about this yesterday while shopping. When she was little we would have ‘talks’ in the car before going in. I would ask her what kind of behavior I expected and if she could tell me, then I knew we wouldn’t have any problems. If we went in to buy a bd gift for a party she was attending I would ask her what we were going in for. I am always willing to spoil a little if she was clear of how I expected her to act. I have never had a bit of trouble while shopping. She’s still that way too. I will usually be the one offering to buy her a little something because she never bugs me to buy anything.
kdens last blog post..Teacher/Coach Falsely Accused of Rape
Yep, we do that too. Preventative parenting 😀