10 Ways to Order Pizza

Again, courtesy of my dd’s email.

  1. Change your accent every 3 seconds.
  2. Ask to rent a pizza.
  3. Order 2 toppings, then change your mind and say, “No, they’ll start fighting. Just one topping.”
  4. Ask if the pizza is organically grown.
  5. Demand to keep the pizza box and make a big deal out of it.
  6. Crack your knuckles into the receiver.
  7. Speak quieter as the conversation goes on. Then when you say good-bye, say it really loud.
  8. Spell the name of the toppings you want.
  9. Terminate the call with, “Remember, we never had this conversation.”
  10. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.