My dd was picked (she had to audition) for all-county band (for school) a few weeks ago. So on Tuesdays, I pick her up from school, take her to band practice, go grocery shopping, pick her up and on 2 Tuesdays a month, take her to church for activities.
She has a couple friends from church at band and I told her she could invite one to come home from band with her, we’d go out to eat, then I’d take them both to church. Of course, she took me up on that offer and that’s how my story starts out.
So…we went to Cici’s after band with her friend…I had my boys, too. Dinner was going well and the girls were having fun. I asked dd to go grab me one more piece of pizza before we had to go and she did. (she’s a good kid)
Then Pierce (3 1/2 yrs old) decided he wanted to get up. He slid under the table and RAN off, nearly knocking someone over. I grabbed the baby and chased after him. I took him (screaming) back to the table and tried to talk to him. He calmed down, but wouldn’t talk…he just tried to pull away (I had him by his pants so I wouldn’t hurt his arm).
After a few minutes, he escalated the conflict and started yelling again. I took him to the bathroom and tried to talk to him. He tried to open the door, but I picked him up and moved him away. And he screamed TOTAL bloody murder…seriously. Twice. Usually I can reason with him, but it was clear it wasn’t going to work.
I picked him up and went out to our table and told my dd to pick up the baby, we were going home. And out we went.
Ds kicked, screamed, hit, all the way out the door. Once we were outside, he said screamed he wanted to to go back in and eat dinner. This was a ploy to get what he wanted. Not a new thing. Once he gets what he wants, he changes his mind…it’s a power/control/testing limits thing.
So I eventually got to the car and buckled him in (which took 3 or 4 minutes, again, him screaming and hitting me and pushing the seat belt straps off. At this point I was ready to tan his hide, but obviously can’t/won’t.
I drove the girls to church and dropped them off (my dh was there to bring her home after her activity; he has meetings). He came out to say hi and I told him what was going on, since the boy was still crying his head off, saying he wanted to go back.
My dh asked him if he wanted a hug and ds said yes, take me out. Dh wouldn’t (since I’d told him the background) and he knows as well as I do how ds works. Ds pushed him away and screamed at him, so we both shrugged and closed the car door.
And he proceeded to fuss/cry/throw a fit all the way home. Even when we got home he continued it. He wanted me to leave him in the car. I wouldn’t. He wanted me to leave him outside by himself. I wouldn’t. So I had to lock our mudroom door (to the outside). I came in the house and left the door (to the house from the mudroom) open. He closed it and screamed at me for 5 more minutes to lock it. I wouldn’t.
After another 10 minutes, he finally calmed down and asked if he could come in the house with muddy shoes. I told him no so he peacefully took them off and came in. And was fine after that.