I was sent this email and thought it was funny, so I had to share 🙂
Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
If a deaf child signs swear words, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
Is there another word for synonym?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he naked or homeless?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?
If you try and fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word ‘lisp’ to have ‘s’ in it?
Why are hemorrhoids called “hemorrhoids” instead of “assteroids”?
Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?
Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?
Some people are inept. Does that mean the rest of us are ept? Can you be unept?