Aggie Jokes–for my Dad

I’ll add some more as time goes on, but here’s a few to start.

  • Why do Aggies hate M&Ms?  They’re too hard to peel.
  • This Aggie goes into a doctor’s office all cut up and bruised and the doctor says, “My goodness, what happened to you?” and the Aggie says, “Well I was in this horse race and I fell off my horse. And then the horse started jumping up and down on top of me.” And the doctor says, “That must have been terrible!” and the Aggie replies “I know. I could have been killed if the Wal-Mart man hadn’t unplugged the machine.”
  • Why did the Aggie get rid of his freezer? He got tired of cutting the ice into little squares to fit into the trays.
  • How do you know the person who invented the toothbrush had to have been an Aggie? Anyone else would have named it a TEETHbrush.
  • How many Aggies does it take to eat an armadillo? Three. One to do the eating and two to watch for cars.
  • Did you hear about the Aggie who drove into the lake? His dog drowned while he was opening the tailgate.
  • Ice is no longer served at Texas A&M. The senior who knew the recipe graduated.
  • A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “Hey bartender, I know a great Aggie joke. You want to hear it?” The bartender says, “Well, before you tell it I should probably tell you that I went to A&M. And you see those two big guys sitting next to you — they were linebackers for the A&M football team. And those two guys on your other side — they’re Marines, and they used to be in the Corps of Cadets at A&M. Now, are you sure you really want to tell that Aggie joke?” The guy thinks for a second. “I guess not,” he said. “I wouldn’t want to have to explain it five times.”

  • What does it take to get a Aggie football scholarship? An arrest record.
  • Q: What do you call an aggie’s skeleton in a closet?
    A: The winner of a Hide and Go Seek game.
  • An Aggie and 2 Longhorns are running away from the police.  They go into the woods to hide, so they climb into three different trees.  The cops go into woods they look up into the trees they yell up into the first Longhorn’s tree and yell, “Is anyone up there?” The First Longhorn yells, ” Meow, meow.”  The cop yells into the second Longhorn’s tree
    and the Longhorn yells,”Hoo, hoo, hoooo.”  Then the cop yells int the Aggie’s tree. the Aggie yells,”Moo moo moooo!”