Thoughts on Mortality

I’ve always been one to think about mortality. I think this was ingrained into me by Grandpa R. He always said, “Life is just too short.” “See that picture of me there? I was young then. Now I’m an old fart.” “It’s hard getting old. I don’t feel older; I just look it.” “Getting old is a terrible thing.”

Yikes. Great things to tell a growing kid! 😀  So since I was a teenager I’ve dreaded getting older. Every birthday is a challenge; some have been downright depressing where I’ve spent the day in tears. It’s so hard to see time go by so fast. I see it in my children and am reminded I’m getting older with them. One of these nights I’ll go to bed and wake up a 70 year old woman with grandkids. I’ll be dying my hair blue and taking casseroles to young women who’ve just had a baby. I’ll tell them stories of when my babies were born.  I know there are many positive things about getting older. Hopefully Paul and I will be able to build a good retirement fund and travel some. Ok, so that’s the only positive one I can think about right now…

I believe in life after death…it’s the death part that concerns me. I enjoy this phase of life too much to see it pass to the next.

So it’s up to me to make the best of every day I have NOW. I have to enjoy my children at the ages they are now and not wish for when they’re older and out of a difficult temporary phase. I have to look in the mirror and see me for who I am now, and not fear what I will see in the future. I would hate to look back when I’m 70 years old, and wish I didn’t spend so much time fearing old age so much.

If life is too short, as my Grandpa said, I better live it to the fullest now.